Social Deviant III

Screw it. I made promises of drawing all the time and guess what? It lasted about a week. I realize that I'm lazy, unmotivated, anxiety ridden and intimidated constantly. Fear of failure, commitment phobia and a complete lack of self confidence has kept me from practicing my art.

I declare no more promises.

I'm changing my life and lifestyle at the moment and pulling back from my social life of going out all the time and being friends with EVERYONE. I had pulled back from my online socialness but I realized that it was actually trying to be everything to everyone that was bring me down. In trying to please others around me I've learned that I have broken so many promises some of my friends and to the most important person in my life... ME! When all is said and done, I am the only one who is stuck with me for the long haul.

I started getting up in the mornings and going to a yoga class. It's in the Mysore method which challenges you to focus on yourself and memorize sequences on your own. I am not a morning person but this has become the most important part of my day as I get to look internally and not stress about anything else, just getting my asanas right and in the right order. In just two weeks it has changed the way I do things, I sleep better, I eat healthier and I feel stronger. Making a long story short, I'm reprioritizing. Starting with me and my art. If I don't post for awhile, then I failed again. That's it.

Thanks for reading,

Claudia